The Hour of Disquiet

is the hour
of my disquiet.
Wide awake in that
suspended time,
dawn is a
dream –
too far away,
too long in coming
for me to escape the heavy
blanket of shadows.
I should wait
… patiently …
but I am tempted
to escape into
Let dawn come
without my attentiveness.
Let me wake only after the shadows
have fled and the sun has
warmed the earth.
Let God arrive
I close my eyes
against this dis-ease,
against the eternity of 4am.
Let me rise once advent is ended
and fears are vanquished …
or else strengthen
my heart,
for I lack
the courage to wait
and to watch for the dawn
when it’s 4am and time stands still.

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