Agh! God, I am so desperate for your healing

that there is a knot of tension in my stomach

and I toss & turn through the entire night.

You are the source of my soul’s troubling:

this terrible absence, this duration of silence

in which you have abandoned me

to my own frantically-whirling thoughts;

you have left me to fend for myself

against waves of sorrow and despair.

Where are you now

that I cannot find you?

Have you walked away from the

cemeteries lined with mourners?

Are you neglecting the arid fields and

the ones who eked their living there?

Is it no longer your holy habit to

sit beside the sick and struggling

or to hold a candle for those

who pray through the night when sleep flees?

It would be better for me not to know you at all

than to know your absence

or to suspect that you have discarded

your faithful ways.

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