Agh! God, I am so desperate for your healing
that there is a knot of tension in my stomach
and I toss & turn through the entire night.
You are the source of my soul’s troubling:
this terrible absence, this duration of silence
in which you have abandoned me
to my own frantically-whirling thoughts;
you have left me to fend for myself
against waves of sorrow and despair.
Where are you now
that I cannot find you?
Have you walked away from the
cemeteries lined with mourners?
Are you neglecting the arid fields and
the ones who eked their living there?
Is it no longer your holy habit to
sit beside the sick and struggling
or to hold a candle for those
who pray through the night when sleep flees?
It would be better for me not to know you at all
than to know your absence
or to suspect that you have discarded
your faithful ways.