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The Lord restored the fortunes of Job, [giving] Job twice as much as he had before. The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning; and he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 donkeys. He also had 7 sons and 3 daughters. – Job 42:10, 12-13 (NRSV) 

I resent Job for being richer post-trauma than he was pre-trauma.  

There, I said it.

I said it for all of us whose lives have been gutted by trauma and grief, all of us who barely escaped abuse with the clothes on our backs, all of us who argued with God when life doled out dumpster fires, all of us whose theological wrestling never yielded a payout of 14,000 sheep. 

Bah, humbug. 

Of course, I don’t have the land or resources to manage 14,000 sheep. Job’s good fortune would only give me a massive headache and overwhelming anxiety.  

But why allow such details to interfere with a good pout? 

Jealousy over God’s goodness is as old as Cain and Abel, a long-lingering thorn in the side of faith. We begrudge one other’s blessings at our own peril, risking bitterness and greed. Fixated on the magnitude of another’s wellbeing or the publicity of another’s triumph or the applause for another’s determination, we diminish and demean our own joys, journeys, miracles. 

Have you been broken apart by pain yet still had the bandwidth for love? One thousand braying donkeys could not compete with such holy grace! 

Have you been forgiven for wounding while wounded, and held gently in community while you healed? One thousand yoked oxen could not plow holier furrows or sow more abundant renewal!  

Job’s blessings are not yours to count, compare, or begrudge, just as God’s blessings upon your life are not mine to crave, crow over, or cower before.  

Prayer: God of grace and mercy, your goodness is beyond measure! Let me not devalue it by measuring it on any earthly scale.

cross-posted with the Daily Devotional