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Finding Home
O Lord, who may abide in your tent? Who may dwell on your holy hill? Those who walk blamelessly, and do what is right; who do not slander with their tongue, and stand by their oath. Those who do these things shall never be moved. – Psalm 15, excerpts (NRSV)
I made a mistake. A big one. A costly one. I knew it. Other people knew it, too.
To me, the error overshadowed, even negated, anything good and right I was doing. It undermined my confidence, and I was certain I had shown myself out the door of others’ confidence, too.
Those who are never to blame shall never be moved, the psalmist sings. But the rest of us shiver and shift when we err. The rest of us who are flaw-fully human feel the perilous tremble of relationships, of trustworthiness, of certainty when we sin. The rest of us notice – keenly – the vulnerability that accompanies our culpability.
Some of us react to our own errors and sins by clawing viciously at whatever thin shroud might protect us from judgment. Others of us cast ourselves out of community rather than risking blame—or worse, grace. Some build tents and towers of self-righteousness to reduce the quake of inadequacy.
Many of us do all of the above, at some point.
Given our propensity for being human, who can claim to dwell under the cover of blamelessness? Is there such a person, or are we all vagrants in this world?
Psalm 15 notwithstanding, Scripture testifies to a God whose wings invite all vagrants to take shelter. Still we go to war – within ourselves and between one another – over the right to dwell under a banner that says “Blameless,” to plant a flag of self-vindication, to shore up our place in the world’s good graces. Still we associate shelter with sufficiency. Dwelling with dignity. Home with merit.
And we neglect to remember that the tent is God’s.
Prayer: Cast me not away from your shelter, O God, and let me not believe I can cast out anyone else—myself included.
cross-posted with the UCC Daily Devotional
Naked Rocks and Other Good News
Look to the rock from which you were hewn. Look to Abraham, who was one but I made him many. Look to Sarah, who was thirsty but I made her an oasis. Before you cower in fear of others’ disappointment, before you hang your head in doubt, look to the moths that will devour pride like garments and the worms that will consume judgment like wool. (adapted from Isaiah 51:1b-3, 7-8)
Insecurity: thy name is Abraham, fretting over his legacy.
Cynicism: thy name is Sarah, doubting all hope and possibility.
Who would you prefer to be, Insecurity? A man basking in billions? A prince defending his throne? A god directing heaven’s chariots? What guarantee of tribute would be sufficient? What pedestal of acclaim would be enough? How thick a garment of pride must you wear to be warm?
And if you fall short of the highest glories, if your name does not echo forever among the mountains, how will you know it from your grave?
My dear Cynicism, what defeat are you imagining? The unchanged status quo? The demise of all things good? The triumph of self-interest? What proof of joy can relieve your fear? What evidence of renewal can bring you peace? Is the daily rising of the sun not enough? Is the wool over your eyes too tight for you to peek at grace?
And if tomorrow you are disappointed yet again by the wonders and miracles around you, if they do not pass your judgment, will you be any less alive?
Look to the rock from which life was hewn, O Insecurity. Look to the dirt into which love was breathed, O Cynicism. Are they clothed in pride or wrapped in doubt? And yet the bare rock became a foundation, and the musty earth bore new life.
Prayer: Forgive me, O God, for clinging so tightly to what does not matter and for giving up so quickly on what does.
cross-posted with the UCC Daily Devotional
Satisfied
You silence the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, the tumult of the peoples. You visit the earth … and water its furrows abundantly, settling its ridges, softening it with showers, and blessing its growth. You crown the year with your bounty. - Psalm...
Stop the Clocks
Joshua said in the sight of the people, “Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and Moon, in the valley of Aijalon.” And the sun stopped in mid-heaven and did not hurry to set for a whole day. There has been no day like it before or ever since, when God heeded such a...
Eye for Eye, God for God
Blessed are the unwavering, the resolute, for theirs is the unstretched heart. Blessed are the bold, the undaunted, for theirs is the unbended knee. Blessed are the unapologetic, the loyal, for theirs are the judgmental eyes. Do not trade eye for eye; take what you...
To What End?
The Israelites came into the wilderness of Zin. Now there was no water for the [people], so they quarreled with Moses and said, “Why have you brought the assembly of the Lord into this wilderness for us and our livestock to die here? Why have you brought us up out of...
Remember the Beginning
Moses said to the people, “Remember this day on which you came out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; no leavened bread shall be eaten. Today, in the month of Abib, you are going out. When the [Sovereign] brings you into a land flowing with milk and honey, you...
The Sandwich Generation
These are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt with Jacob, each with his household: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, and Benjamin, Dan and Naphtali, Gad and Asher. … Then Joseph died, and all his brothers, and that whole generation. -...
Dreaming of God
On his way from Beersheba to Haran, Jacob stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep. He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven …...
He Started It
Once when Jacob was cooking a stew, Esau came in from the field, famished. Esau demanded, “Let me eat some of that!” Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.” Esau moaned, “I am about to die! Of what use is a birthright if I starve to death?” Jacob said, “Swear...
Space for Grief
Sarah lived one hundred twenty-seven years, and Sarah died at Kiriath-arba. Abraham said to the Hittites, “I am a stranger residing among you; give me property for a price so that I may bury my dead. Entreat Ephron for me, so that he might give me the cave of...
