Bargaining

You have said to me, “Come,”
but you have left me to wander
in search of your desired “where.”

You have named me, “Blessed,”
but you have been unrelenting
with every trial on my life.

You have said to me, “Be still and know,”
but you have covered the eyes of my heart
so that I cannot understand your ways.

You have promised your favor,
yet your holy boon is a burden,
a grace that requires wrestling.

You have claimed me as your own,
though you remain a mystery
as if we are mere strangers.

So now let me know:
if I am to come — show me the way;
if I am blessed — reveal your presence;
if I am known — let me also know;
if I am valued — do not let help be far off;
if I am yours — do not pass me by.

on Exodus 33:12-23